Ministry hurts

Ministry hurts, that is the truth.  It is the harsh reality.  It is the heartbreaking truth we experience again and again.  After a refreshing week on holiday this weeks return has been hard.  Sometimes the reality of the brokenness of the world seems to crash over your head again and again like a series of waves trying their best to pummel you and drag you under, and coming up for air is merely a momentary, quickly gasped relief, before the next wave tries with all it might to suck you under.

And if I'm honest it's not just the last few days.  Sometimes ministry takes place on the sunlit, grass rich, water plentiful uplands, but at other times ministry just seems like one long fearful foray through the valley of the shadow of death.  It's in the light of that that God providentially drove me to study Psalm 77 this week.

I cried out to God for help;
    I cried out to God to hear me.
2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
    at night I stretched out untiring hands,
    and I would not be comforted.

3 I remembered you, God, and I groaned;
    I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.
4 You kept my eyes from closing;
    I was too troubled to speak.
5 I thought about the former days,
    the years of long ago;
6 I remembered my songs in the night.
    My heart meditated and my spirit asked:

7 ‘Will the Lord reject for ever?
    Will he never show his favour again?
8 Has his unfailing love vanished for ever?
    Has his promise failed for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be merciful?
    Has he in anger withheld his compassion?’

10 Then I thought, ‘To this I will appeal:
    the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.
11 I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
    yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
12 I will consider all your works
    and meditate on all your mighty deeds.’

13 Your ways, God, are holy.
    What god is as great as our God?
14 You are the God who performs miracles;
    you display your power among the peoples.
15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
    the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.

16 The waters saw you, God,
    the waters saw you and writhed;
    the very depths were convulsed.
17 The clouds poured down water,
    the heavens resounded with thunder;
    your arrows flashed back and forth.
18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,
    your lightning lit up the world;
    the earth trembled and quaked.
19 Your path led through the sea,
    your way through the mighty waters,
    though your footprints were not seen.

20 You led your people like a flock
    by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

I guess the obvious question is how does that help?  The Psalm seems unfinished, whilst he rehearses the rescue and redemption and covenant faithfulness of God in the past his own rescue remains a tantalisingly unrealised potential reality.  There is no joy filled verse 21-22 where he recounts his own experience of just such a rescue, exhorting Israel to sing God's praise with him.  There is just the fact that God is faithful, God rescues and redeems and the unspoken hope and faith in God's character to one day do that again.  Sometimes a Psalm articulates your prayers better than you can, and there is joy, comfort and rest in that.

Some days in ministry are Psalm 77 days, and that doesn't need swift theological correction via a metaphorical doctrinal boot up the backside, it needs the grace to give time and space for quiet prayer and a Spirit filled determination and trust that God loves and redeems and one day will fully rescue, rediscovered in God's word and articulated in the prayers he inspires to gives us words when we are struggling to find them.