Debilitating, isolating and depressing

God has graciously been using my prolonged period of illness to teach me lots of things about both illness, myself and caring for others.  Some of those lessons have been hard and painful to learn but it doesn't mean that they won't be useful.  One of the most helpful has been the experience of just being unable; unable to go out, unable to do, unable to contribute.  In that context what is debilitating becomes isolating as it cuts you off from people you see in the normal run of the mill.  Others are busy and they are not seeing you as the normal context in which your relationship plays out is removed.  Without a real conscious intentional effort that you can't make and often others aren't aware is needed someone who is ill can quickly become isolated.  Then isolation can very easily lead to depression, either very mild or potentially more serious.  Such depression can easily lead to bitterness.

Experiencing this sense of debilitation and isolation hasn't been easy, but I am grateful for friends who took time to send cards, write, text or ring to minimise the sense of isolation.  But that has taken real effort on their part, it has involved an intentionality, a breaking of routines and norms.  It has cost them.  But this is what the Bible pictures a church community doing.  It should be normal in the church, but often we are just too busy to stop and think about who needs a call, a letter, a text.  I'm praying that as things get back to normal I don't let the busyness crowd out this valuable lesson.  I need to live with margin, a space between my load and limit, both for myself and for others, so that I have time to stop, think about others and recognise need and ways to break or minimise the isolation of others.